By Sanjay Pinto
“Let Me Be Me.” That’s how a young friend
recently tried reasoning with her parents who asked her to either
‘censor’ her facebook content or deactivate her account. Why? Because they had
just launched their daughter dear in the marriage market. The vivacious
twenty four year old corporate executive has been a regular face on the
party circuit with loads of pictures shared on her wall and separate
albums. The diktat meant no mini skirts ‘on record’ and worse, rationing
of male friends online! And there’s a supposed reason for the
hypocrisy – ‘How can you pose for your prospective in laws in your party wear?’
The shocked girl could have merely tinkered with her privacy settings but chose
to give up and delete her account.
Coincidentally,
the same week, I came across another instance of stone age logic. A close
relative who had marriage alliance offers from many a suitable boy was stunned
out of her wits when the families of some of the aspiring grooms looked
up her facebook profile and sniffed out her brother in law’s wall posts about a
particular religious festival. That her elder sister had married out of
the religion was unashamedly cited as a ground for disqualification. To
put it bluntly, an inter-religious love marriage was construed as a not so
favourable character certificate for the family. The girl’s mother has now
altered the profile with a caveat to keep bigots at bay.
Notice
that these ‘rules’ are not gender neutral? It’s an extension of those
chauvinistic advertisements that seek ‘fair, slim, beautiful, educated,
talented girls’ for a boy who may well look like the back of a bus, smokes like
a chimney and drinks till the cows come home. And how can I forget, who also
specialises in hiding behind mama’s apron as his folks ring the auction bell.
From
their very inception, social networking sites have been synonymous with social
engineering. Privacy has not been a major concern for many youngsters. After
all, how many users change their passwords periodically or disable wall posts
or control who can see their updates or albums? But when a sizeable chunk of
elders insist on matrimonial advertisements carrying links to not just
linkedin but facebook as well; that’s if they don’t
hire detectives for social media snooping, it’s time for right thinking,
liberal, independent minded facebookers to stop giving in to these regressive
antics. There’s a little bit of ‘Dhoble’ in many people! And it must be
snuffed out.
A
positive new beginning was made on Sunday by a regional political
outfit in Tamilnadu that ironically was in the forefront of moral policing in
the not too distant past. Recognising the power and reach of the social media,
the party organised a full day workshop on the subject for its members,
inviting among others, an academician from a foreign university. The
exercise was enough to whet their appetite for more. So in the next few weeks,
a full fledged training programme is being organised for the party
by a well known online messiah. Change seems the only constant.
Talking
of politicians hopping on to the social media bandwagon, what
about Mamata Banerjee making her debut on facebook with a sales pitch for
Abdul Kalam? Trinamool spokesperson and quiz master Derek O’Brien
apparently asked Didi all the right questions and pitched in with answers too.
Although Kalam chose to pass the offer, the new entrant seems poised to put her
new find to good use. So the next time the mercurial West Bengal Chief Minister
walks out of an interview, just check her facebook wall! Because the game may
not be over!
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